Ok. You’re in sales. You’re busy. You have a deadline and a quota. You don’t want to be at the bottom of the next sales ranking and you will do whatever it takes not to be there. Am I right?
I get it because I lived these same thoughts every day. When you see one of your peers rising in the sale ranks you wonder why, correct? Have you ever met a sales rep with lackluster numbers who still seems happy? Again, did you wonder why? Here’s a possible explanation: the other rep in question is emotionally healthier than you. That’s right emotionally healthier. It’s often obvious when someone’s physical health differs from you. Emotional health? That’s something you feel for yourself.
Although I’ve started this discussion in terms of having an emotional edge over another rep, competition is not what emotional health is about. That’s a good thing. It’s not about being better than someone else. Instead, it’s about being a better version of yourself. When I started therapy a few years ago, my goal was to gain control of my anxiety in order to be a better sales person, father, and husband. What I came to realize was that my job was actually the reason I needed the therapy. Not vice versa! This forced me over a period of time, to seriously rethink my priorities. As a result, I came to three realizations:
Realization One: Traditional sales management uses fear and extrinsic rewards in a way that’s potentially detrimental to your health.
There is a reason you don’t like disappointing your boss. It makes you afraid. That fear causes the hormone cortisol to course through your body. It’s the same chemical that helped our ancestors sense danger approaching them on the African plains. The problem is that our bodies weren’t designed for us to feel fear all the time. According to Simon Sinek in his book, “Leaders Eat Last”, having excess cortisol elevates our blood pressure, impairs our cognitive ability, and decreases our immunity from diseases. Of course, let’s not forget the accompanying psychological effect of anxiety.
When we get exstrinsic rewards, which includes anything from commission checks, to pats on the back, to even the ‘ding” of our phones telling us we have a new text, our bodies release dopamine. It’s the “ahh” feeling of getting something done or accomplishing a goal. It’s what drives you to make your sales goal and win that extra commission kicker.
What’s wrong with this? Did you ever notice that the high from achieving anything never lasts? It’s because the effect of dopamine is always temporary. Therefore, people can literally become addicted to it. Have difficulty putting your phone down? That’s because every new message gives you a small hit of dopamine. Like cortisol, this brain chemical may have been essential to our evolution but in an age of abundance like today, less of it is definitely more.
Realization Two: Despite the negative influence of sales management, you and I are responsible for inflicting the negative effects of our jobs on ourselves.
“Wait a minute, it’s my fault now?”, you say. Yes, but we all have a valid reason for making the mistake. In his book, “Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better“, world renowned psychologist Albert Ellis, coined two important terms. Conditional Self Acceptance (CSA) and Universal Self Acceptance (USA). All of us, according to Dr. Ellis, use one of these two methodologies to create our self-image. Your boss. Your coworkers. Even authors of sales literature. They all tell you to measure your self-worth in dollars. The premise has been for years, the more you sell, the happier you will be. Almost every sales book is based on this premise and no one dares to question it. Given what science now knows about dopamine, long-lasting happiness as a result of sales success is a lie. Selling more of anything will never make you happier in any long term sense.
Still, don’t we need to sell more so we can buy more things? Unfortunately, bigger houses and nicer cars commit us to making more money long after the dopamine high of their purchase wears off. Dan Pink, in his book “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” emphasizes the importance of Type I or intrinsic motivation over Type X motivation which is based on anything external.
Before we can realize our own Type I, internal motivations we need to rid ourselves of the external ones. This involves adopting USA vs. CSA. Unconditional Self Acceptance means treating yourself much like your pets do. No, not just as a life-giving source of food, but as a good person no matter what you accomplish. Yes. It’s a touchy-feely concept, but to reap it’s rewards, you will need to get over that. Dr. Ellis mandates that you adopt a new attitude about yourself. Regardless if you screw up a sales call or a sales quarter, you accept what happens and move on.
Therefore, USA opens you up to Type I motivation and CSA locks you into traditional Type X motivation. When you have USA and Type I motivation, your happiness is not based on what you own, what’s on you latest W2, or even what your boss says to you. You accept the futility of being anyone other than yourself and are motivated by a purpose. For example, the reason I started this Blog was to improve the way sales people are managed. I write for the fulfillment of writing and expressing these ideas – not the paycheck.
Realization 3: In a very real way, letting go of the metrics forced on us by our jobs, allows us to actually become happier in general and often more effective at work.
Traditionally, companies have assumed that workers are fundamentally lazy and require carrots and sticks for the motivation. Carrots are the extrinsic rewards like money and accolades. Sticks are the fear tactics such as terminations or reprimands. According to Daniel Pink, in the Industrial Age, most occupations involved simple and repetitive tasks. It made sense to pay a factory worker based on the amount of parts produced because he or she could clearly see how increased effort resulted in increased output. For complex jobs, people required intrinsic rewards. They want the stimulation of learning something new or the gratification of helping someone. Contrary to what many sales books teach, the process to complete a sale with each new customer is unique and cannot be boiled down to a shortlist of repeatable tasks.
Complicated, multi-step jobs like outside sales require creativity. We all have creatitivity within us and the way to unlock it is with the positive emotions that USA allows us to feel. For me, making the change to USA with Type I motivation gave me back all the time I was wasting on worrying. I then proceeded to use that time to think of new ways to do my job. Just think, instead of stressing over doing your job perfectly, you could be selling in newer, more effective ways your management never imagined!
This new mindset obviously requires a leap of faith – in yourself. Of course, fear may have made you work harder in the past, but never at your best. Chasing extrinsic rewards is forcing you to use temporary happiness in the place of long-term fulfillment. My process of learning all this started with a trip to a therapist. If you’re in sales, I suggest you spend the co-pay and do so yourself.
I welcome your comments and suggestions!
Regards,
Meaning2work
Ps. Yes. As a result of therapy, I sell more now than ever, but I also have the sense to know that I can never sell my way to true happiness!
Books Referenced:
“Leaders Eat Last”, by Simon Sinek – to access it on Amazon click here.
“Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better”, by Albert Ellis, PHD., – to access on Amazon click here.
“Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us”, by Dan Pink – to access on Amazon click here.
#salespsychology
#salesmotivation
#saleseffectivenes
#salesmanagement
Sales Doesn’t Have To Suck – How Therapy Taught Me Why
