Out of nothing..
There I sat in my used 2015 Volkswagen Passat at a traffic light. It was a nice car, black and shiny in the Summer sun despite it’s 120,000 miles. Waiting for the signal, I did one of the most unavoidable things a driver can do, and glanced over at the car next to me. There sat a blue-eyed boy, about eleven or twelve years old maybe, with a summer buzz cut. Our eyes would’ve met sooner if he wasn’t staring down at my car.
Within a second he glanced up at me with a look of approval. It seemed he was just impressed enough to show it on his face. Not to oversell it, this was more of a “nice house” than a “huge chocolate bar” look. Then the light turned green, and we both pulled away.
Something vs. Nothing
That boy’s expression, however, stayed with me. It was as if he saw a car like mine for the first time and had no frame of reference. While you and I know there are much nicer cars, to him it could have been the prototypical vehicle, a one of kind. For all I know, he might have spent his life in the country where pick-ups are much more common than sedans.
To someone who doesn’t drive, a car must be a thing of wonder and mystery. I imagine power in both the machine itself and the freedom it promises must be quite impressive to someone who’s spent his entire life strapped in and restrained.
The gift of first sight
This scenario, in my opinion, exemplifies an ability children have and most adults have lost. They can see things for the first time. As a result, their perception of many things is a comparison, not to anything before, but to nothing. First, there was an empty lane. Then, bam, there was a shiny black car.
Like the characters in The Polar Express, who as they grew older, lost the ability to hear Santa’s bell, we adults lose the opportunity to experience new things. We instead relate everything to something existing in our memory banks. Even mankind’s most recent space explorations get compared to Sci-Fi movies. And, naturally, we compare everything new to everything old.
Compare everything to nothing
What if adults could somehow again experience newness? Not only do I think it’s possible, all it takes is a conscious comparison of everything to nothing. For example, that miserably slow computer on your desk, how could your perform what it does without it? And that tired old car? Surely it beats the heck out of walking twenty miles to work. The comparisons remind us what it might’ve been like before we had something.
Of course, novelty isn’t limited to physical possessions. Last night’s poor dining experience could have been spent eating crackers on the couch. Think about your shitty jobs of the past. What if, in place of your struggle, you were unemployed the entire time? We’re much less likely to resent past tribulations after we’ve overcome them.
More importantly, what if we extend this type of comparison to people? Our family, friends, colleagues, what if we didn’t have them? I don’t suggest thinking about death, but something almost as sad. What if you never knew them at all? Think of each individual person and imagine if they had never been in your life. What an empty world!
Gratitude, the ideal treatment
Admittedly, it’s a hard perspective to take. Our minds are conditioned to compare everything to the past. Perhaps we’ve evolved to be that way. All I know is that I’ve heard from many authors the same message: gratitude is so powerful, it literally crowds out negative emotions. In fact, we physically cannot experience both gratefulness and depression at the same time.
Yes, being told to have gratitude can be annoying. It’s also useless. We need to seek gratitude on our own. No one can force it upon us. All I know is that whenever I’ve taken a moment to be grateful to have more than nothing, I’ve always felt better. Why not give it a try?
Sincerely,