Jealousy in Sales
“We hate it when our friends become successful.” – Morrissey
DUCK is a handy acronym meaning Designated Underachieving Coworker. It’s a work friend we keep around up until the point they start performing at a higher level than ourselves. Are we jealous of our Duck? Not as long as they know their place!
Does anyone set out to find a Duck? Of course not, we make friends with people who we perceive to be similar to us. And therein lies the problem. When our friends “make it big”, they can become, in our minds, dissimilar.
Our first jealous reaction:
They must be lucky. Interestingly, our need to prove this fact, especially when it’s true, make us less, not more happy. Imagine having to prove you didn’t commit a crime. The relief at proving your innocence would likely be tainted by the thought of someone accusing you of such a thing. In the same way, coming up with convincing reasons that our co-workers success was as a result of luck only serves to give us a tenous satisfaction.
Our second jealous reaction:
Find out what they’re secret is. Are they playing by the rules? In sales, many people don’t. Do they have some new insight that we don’t have? If so, what is it? Do they know? If so, will they tell us?
Life was easier when our Duck knew it’s place on the pond. Now that our friend has taken flight we have no choice but to shoot them down.
To make matters worse, management often relishes a good fight. There’s nothing subtle about published ranking lists that force one person’s success to be another person’s failure. After all, competition within a team always brings out the best possible performance. While this may be true, at times, what is the long term cost?
If this was a simple fable about the pitfalls of jealousy, we’d have this problem solved. Don’t be jealous. Life is, of course, more complex than this. Sometimes, in sales, people are lucky. Sometimes they bend the rules or cheat the system. And yes, sometimes salespeople develop skills or find legitmate customer insights that give them a competitive edge.
At this point, it’s important to ask, what ultimately makes us happier? Instead of debating the luck vs. ethics vs. skill of our colleagues, why not accept a completely different truth. Our coworker’s success or failure has nothing to do with us. We weren’t better than them when they were our Duck and they’re not better than us now that the roles have reversed. Therefore, we have no need to feel jealous. There is one exception. In the process of being a supportive friend, we sometimes aid in a colleague’s success. In these cases, we should consider feeling proud of their success.
In reality, our jealous feelings aren’t really about our coworkers. They’re about us. If we stop judging ourselves, we won’t feel the need to use others as yardsticks. Heck, we might even become a better friend in the process.
Sincerely,
Meaning2work