The Stoic Salesperson: Want to Feel Invincible? First, Make Peace With Pain

Boxers make peace with pain photo
Photo by Hermès Rivera via Unsplash.com

The closest thing I’ve ever felt to a knockout punch is a well-timed, customer objection. Like an unseen blow to the temple, it only takes one of them to bring a sale down. While I suspect the pain from an uppercut can linger for months or years, I know the regret from an objection can seem unforgettable.  Just as the only way a boxer can truly avoid a hit is to never step in the ring, the only way a salesperson can avoid objections is to never attempt a sale.

Sure, we don’t like the discomfort and nervousness objections produce, but don’t we feel the same when we watch a scary movie or our favorite team in the playoffs?  Why then do we avoid, or agonize over, the difficult situations that can make us succeed?

There has to be more to it.  A boxer walks into the ring knowing she will get hit hundreds of times and probably feel serious pain.  “I was surprised how much it hurt to get punched,” said no fighter ever.  Obviously, they’ve made piece with the pain well in advance.

What do we really fear?

The key problem to address is not the hit or the objection itself, it’s the pain.  Conquer your fear of it and the punch no longer needs to be avoided.  Similarly, when we can handle or dismiss the sting of objections, we can stop dancing around them.   

I suggest the reason objections can hurt so much is the meaning we give them. Consider the following thoughts:

  • If I can’t answer an objection I risk losing the sale.  
  • If I lose the sale I may not make my sales goal or lose a contest.
  • If I don’t make my sales goal (or lose) I’m a bad employee, parent, person, etc.

Do they sound familiar? Of course, these worries may not be at the top of our mind, but peel back the layers and they’re usually there.

How can we handle the pain?

Stoic’s, like Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, believed all we control is our own choices, actions, and beliefs.  Customers make buying decisions; we do not.  Managers make the only official judgements of sales performance. Again, we do not.  However, feeling ashamed as a result of our job performance, that’s our choice.  Therein lies a true opportunity to change ourselves for the better. 

How can we change?  We can choose no longer to feel anger or shame over events out of our control, like the choices customers and bosses make.  In 25 years of selling, I’ve been layed-off three times.  None of them were pleasant.  Fortunately, I’ve learned to no longer live in fear of failure. I begin every sales call knowing, despite my best efforts, the customer may choose against my product.    

No, I don’t win every sale these days but I win much more now that I don’t fear losing.  I can take the punches, fall down, and get back up.  No one has ever died from an objection. You can be imperfect and still be unwavering or almost invincible.  First, you must make peace with the pain.

Sincerely,


Meaning2work.com

Ps. I’ve taken sales questions from over a hundred people. Check out my responses on my profile page on Quora.com!